Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Randomize
