I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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