return my video game
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
