dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
