i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
