Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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