I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
