um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
