i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
