i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
