with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
