yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Randomize
