You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
