have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
