this beer tastes like vomit already
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I need water and some morals
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
