normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
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