Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
