Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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