Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
