Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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