Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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