So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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