she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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