I just saw a hot homeless man
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
did you just send me my own nude
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
