I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Randomize
