you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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