Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
