I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Come on in and take your pants off
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