Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
