What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
