I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
