Sry I called you an 8
Girls should come with a carfax report
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
