Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Im just a social blackout drinker.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
