How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
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Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
