my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
