I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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