Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
