i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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