Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
