Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
should my penis look like a turkey
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
there is glitter all over my balls
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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