Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
