I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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