I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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