When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Alive.
So much puke
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
