I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
