I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
