Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
