the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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