you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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