After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
