had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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