When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
