He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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