Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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