My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
